Image: Sergei dealing with July's heat
A Mystic’s Journal Entries: July 10 - 28, 2007
Tuesday, July 10
Diana sent me the entire first section of Realms of Light today, reformatted, to proof. A nice project for such a hot day. I already see a few misplaced footnotes and other small errors ... Our e-mails are flying back and forth. Unfortunately, because of my reaction to the heat, days go by when I cannot use the computer, I am too weak to sit up.
I had barely begun when N. stopped by. N. is fighting a terrible battle with cancer and the prognosis is not good; I am not allowed to interfere. We had a long conversation. I said that the lessons are the same, whether we are leaving this Earth soon or not: to remember we are the soul, that others are the soul, keep the heart open so that the Higher Divine Love can flow through us to others, gather virtue - for what we attain here on Earth will determine what realm we will go to after this life is finished. To trust the soul and God, to try to align ourselves with the soul’s vision. I also told her that I would give her the first section of Realms of Light as soon as I am finished proofing it. When she first came in today she started to cry, because she was worried about her parents. I reminded her that they were no more the physical body than she was, that she should inwardly see them as the soul - i.e. as Divine Light and Radiance. That there is no separation between souls, only between physical bodies. We did the exercise with closed eyes and she said it helped her. I added that God can and will take better care of her parents than she ever could.
I also said that as humans we are very inertial: when I am asleep I want to stay asleep, and when I am awake I want to stay awake. And I reminded her that no matter what realm we are in, we will always be missing someone else in another realm, until the end of the world and time. The conversation was long and deep, and I hope that it will help her during the coming difficult months.
Wednesday, July 11
Saw the doctor today. Apparently my collapsing in the heat, and my blood pressure dropping so quickly and dangerously, is all left over from last summer’s yellow jacket sting - and Western medicine has no cure. Cried about the gardens, the fact that I can never again walk or sit in a field, in the woods, unless it is winter or raining or at night. I miss the sun. And now the problems with the heat. Unless we put air conditioning in at Windgarth, my time there is at best very limited.
I include my physical health and personal problems in this Journal not for my own sake, but because how we deal with what we are given in life - is our spiritual life. I am trying to handle these problems as gracefully as I can, and in the most holy way that I can. JF e-mailed me a quote by Paul Brunton:
“Well, Laurie I wonder if the below is a possibility. It not, get well.
Love,Janet
A modern mystic, the late Sister Marie of the Order of Poor Clares
of Jerusalem, was told from within, "Because I love you I have given
you bad health since the beginning of your life, so that you would
feel how dependent you are on Me."
Notebooks Category 10: Healing of the Self, Chapter 5: The
Healing Power of The Overself, # 137"
I wrote her back:
Hi J. I would not doubt it, and the thought has already crossed my mind
many times ... If it is so, then I am Thankful.
But: If it is merely Old Nick and his cohorts and my own weakness - then I
had better do everything I possibly can to get well!!!!!! xxxxxxxxx
Monday, July 16
An e-mail from Diana. Her arms still hurt from all the formatting she did on Realms of Light last week. She’s taking a well-deserved break. As am I.
Tuesday, July 17
Turned to the East and added on an acupuncturist - so many doctor’s appointments again this week. I am still struggling. The other night I lit a candle and meditated and came once again to a sense of Peace. Our Lady’s statue smiled at me which usually means Healing is on the way. I must continue to have patience and surrender to the Higher Will as I wade my way through these physical difficulties. I am also asking for the Gift of discernment, so that I can see the path clearly. Am slowly improving, and the weather has been cooler, even cold at night. I have also wondered if my extreme reaction to the heat is a way of keeping me indoors, away from the yellow jackets - i.e. a protection. An answer to my prayers, prayers asking if I should stay inside, especially out of the gardens, to avoid that danger altogether. Windgarth. I miss Windgarth.
Tuesday, July 24
11:30 a.m.
Cooler today, in the low seventies. Have been working on Realms of Light these past few days, well into the night. Diana wrote that all the corrections are in for the Interviews. She will send them for me to proof one last time; our server’s spam filter has been bouncing her e-mails back to her. Another phone call for me to make, to our server. Also must call the stove man; our computer fellow. I have been steadily working on the FAQ section at the end of the book. Decided to reorganize it and rewrite sections. While I am finishing up the Frequently Asked Questions section, Diana will work on formatting the photographs. The end is near. Then to send the ms to reviewers. Contact the publisher, send them the formatted manuscript. Reproof their work. Next: Visits With Angels. I am not sure how long Diana can keep up this pace. As she has often said - it’s like riding a lightning bolt.
4:30
After my doctor’s appointment, waiting for JF, went into the health-food store and bought myself a large ‘conventional local peach’ (well, that’s what the handwritten sign said) for fifty-six cents; then to the Bookery. They are out of my books, I need to bring more. Ludgates is out of Visions CDs, I gave some to Myra to take there for me. Then an e-mail from New Dimensions, World Broadcasting Network on the West Coast - they loved The Spiritual Life of Animals and Plants and would like to interview me on their show. I doubt that I will be on the West Coast anytime soon, although we might be able to do a hook up with Cable 13 here in Ithaca. I’ll ask Lauren. Meanwhile: back to rewriting the FAQ section of Realms of Light.
Friday, July 27
1 p.m.
Another doctor appointment today, in an hour. One of my meditators is driving me there. Still struggling with the heat; in the eighties. Woke to a darkened sky and a thunderstorm, a cloudburst. Opened the back door and stood there looking into the garden, water cascading off the branches of the apple tree. In a way the gardens are better than ever, although very overgrown. The branches of the crab apple reach down almost to the wooden Monet bench, like a giant umbrella. The sound of one lone bird. Small waterfalls here and there, the gardens transformed and refreshed - there is Light everywhere. The St. John’s wort is covered with yellow flowers. The reds and pinks and oranges and blues of the hanging baskets - thunder. And now the sun. Perhaps a rainbow.
Still working on the book.
Saturday, July 28
1:20 p.m.
Was catching up on e-mails and heard loud knocking on the back door. Found a sweet, plump woman’s face peering at me through the upper pane, topped by a straw hat - shortish and about my age, she was wearing a summer dress with a discreet pattern, and looked as though she stepped out of a Harry Potter book. Could she have some of the maroon monarda in my gardens, she already has pink and white; I said, “Of course”. I watched her go across the street towards a nice clump of maroon monarda, confidently holding a small trowel.
Diana e-mailed me the proofs of some of the photographs for Realms of Light today, and a list of all the photographs she has. A few of the photographs got lost along the way - and will need to be either found or replaced. I will check some envelopes and folders downstairs.
3 a.m.
Diana phoned me from Texas, her e-mails were being bounced back to her again. That was somehow straightened out - and she found the missing photographs. I put the questions in the FAQ section in order; made corrections; wrote a few new sentences, deled some sentences. Will reread the section tomorrow, reproof it and draw up an index. It is almost done. The Table of Contents will change.
Haven’t finished reproofing the Interviews yet. Somehow that task got lost in the shuffle. Worked in the gardens some hours again tonight, a bit of clipping and weeding.