Infused Meditation: A Mystic's Journal February 15-17, 2005

[figaro]

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Last night, during meditation and class I was aware of the odor of incense. I had whiffs of it earlier in the day as well - just mild whiffs here and there. I prayed to Our Lady before class, & asked that the people who were not at meditation last week would have the experience. As it turned out, when they walked into the living room, during meditation, they seemed to bring the scent with them! They, however, did not smell anything until during class. Three people came last night that had not been here the week before - and everyone smelled it. The beautiful scent of incense.

The cleaning ladies came today. Last week I had told them about the scents of roses and incense and fruits during class the night before - and one of them said that she had also smelled the scent of roses later, the following Saturday, in her car, driving back from Cortland. The cleaning ladies are very simple & spiritual, we talk about God every week when they come - so it did not surprise me that she also had that experience.

Last night we read quotes from a different Desert Father, named Maximus the Confessor. He brought the scent of incense. Next week we will read quotes from another Desert Father, and we will see if a new scent manifests during class.


Tuesday, February 15
2:25 a.m.

Answered two letters from Senegal. A message from Diana: her niece received the Healing I asked God for; her swelling & pain has subsided - last time she needed brain surgery! Then an e-mail from Father R___. He was a missionary for over twenty years & is now back in America. We met through the Living Rosary & have been writing each other for over a year. He has a degree in theology, so I often send him things I have written, for him to look over - to make sure I have not said anything that might offend God.

I sent him my last A Mystic’s Journal entry, & he wrote back: “Since you are clairvoyant, did you know what happened to me on Wednesday evening (during your meditation session)?”

It seems some - in his CCD class, a class for those who wish to become Catholics, had forgotten to hand in their application forms - & some of them were therefore not allowed to be baptized this past weekend. One girl left in tears & the teachers were very upset, one teacher threatened to leave their Church & in the future attend a different one. The girl had made cookies, toys for children at Christmas, cleaned the Holy Spirit Center. He reported that he had given the girl the needed form on two separate occasions.

“I was so devastated that I could hardly move once everyone left - I remained for one hour in the hall. Then I gave it much thought - it was my sin for not being on the same page as the other CCD teachers. The following day I called the teacher to apologize and later that afternoon the girl came with her father to the rectory. I was denying his daughter baptism; maybe they should contact my superiors! She forgave me (so she said) but will not be back here - maybe she will search out another church. Certainly the Church has to be divine to survive all of this! Say a prayer next Wednesday evening for our next class! We could use a few angels too!”

Poor Father! He is such a gentle, thoughtful man, and such a good and holy priest! I wrote him back immediately to say that I am clairvoyant, but I am not always allowed to use my clairvoyance, & thanked him for writing. I then said that it did not seem entirely fair that he was being tormented by his flock while I was smelling supernatural roses & fruits. I added that on the other hand, it had been Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the season of Lent & the Cross. From a certain point of view, we could say that he received his big Gift right off - his own personal Cross, delivered right to his door.

I sent the e-mail & went into the hallway, to go downstairs. However, a thought imprinted itself on my mind & wouldn’t leave. I turned around & sent him this message: Dear Father - I am sending you this sentence to use as you need:

The Church is far bigger than the rules devised for it here on earth, yet those rules are the very fabric of the Church on earth.

I was left with the image of my dear Father R_____ sitting in the empty church for an hour afterwards, in shock & searching his soul.

Then I thought of another priest that I personally know, who is also now in America. He wrote that a woman in his parish was so angry, she slapped him after Mass one Sunday. (For saying that he was rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series! Granted, that was probably not a good thing to say from the pulpit, since tempers can be high around the World Series.)

Our poor priests!

Our Lady has been appearing to visionaries in Medjugorje, Yugoslavia/ Betania, Venezuela/ & Naju, Korea, & for many years. In Her appearances & messages, She often asks us to pray for priests. I took this to mean that we should pray that they grow in sanctity - which we should do for all sentient beings, especially priests. But suddenly, I see another aspect of Her request - prayers to protect them from their flocks! To pray for their peace of mind. There is now such a shortage of priests - in part, probably due to the shortage of prayers that more men enter the priesthood - that the few we have are terribly overburdened with work & have little support. Many are the only priest in their parish. Our Lady has told the visionaries that Old Nick is trying to destroy the priesthood - if not from within the hearts of the priests, if they are corruptible - then to weaken them from without.

Tonight, my additional prayers will be for priests. In fact, prayers for priests & nuns will be my special Lenten prayers. For the priests are the vessels of Christ here on earth - so, in praying for them, I will also be sending Our Lord Himself my prayers. I will pray that Our Lord will shine though all priests as though the priests are transparent; that priests may use the Holiness & Divinity & Power of Our Lord that is given to them for the benefit of others; that they be protected & surrounded by angels always, and led to sainthood. I ask God to do this for the sake of all humanity, and I pray for all the religious, the priests and nuns, of all religions of earth.

After I wrote those words in my journal, I stood up to get a glass of water. I had been aware of the faint scent of roses & fruit all evening, here & there. And as I rose, to go towards the kitchen, I suddenly found myself on my knees, on the hardwood floor, before the small statue of Our Lady that rests on the narrow wooden shelf over our coalstove. This has happened in the past, although not that often. I was thrown into a meditation, a semi-ecstacy filled with almost intolerably bright, unearthly Light. I heard myself inwardly say to Our Lady: “You are wedded to the Holy Spirit.” And then I heard myself say: “Yes, I too would like to be wedded to the Holy Spirit.” After I had inwardly uttered those words, I turned entirely to Light, & became as transparent as crystal. I felt a powerful ray of Light come into my Heart from Our Lady’s statue, & in my Heart was the Cathedral made of Light that Christ had put there many years ago. It was shining & powerful, more so, perhaps, than even before - I again understood this to be the mystical Church & also the Trinity. I did not feel Christ stand inside me & “replace me”, as I often do when I ask for spiritual communion - although there was so much Light & Divine Presence coming into me, it was hard to distinguish what, exactly, was happening. I more felt the Presence of the Holy Spirit or the Father entering me from above, the ray of Light being given to me by Our Lady & the Cathedral of Light in my spiritual Heart - all as bright Light & burning Divine Heat. I was drenched & my clothes were wet. I stayed on my knees for however long - I had not looked at my watch when I first stood up - & finally the experience lessened & I again stood. I started to again go into the kitchen for a glass of water, but the same experience began again, this time as I stood before Our Lady’s statue. This was as intense as the former experience. And unlike St. Teresa of Avila & other great saints, who often floated in the air - I noticed that my feet (which have been unsteady since my car accident, I often lose my balance & begin to fall) - were rooted to the floor, as though they were almost being driven into the floor. As though I were, at that moment, literally rooted in the Divine.

And this time, in the spiritual Heart, I saw Our Lady, and She was holding many red jewels, rubies & other precious stones. Later, I thought these must be for the priests & nuns that I would pray for. And I do pray that one third of the stars do not fall from the Heavens, as John foretells in Revelations - although I fear it might be already too late to prevent that ...

I know that when I first began to say the prayer given to St. Gertrude by Our Lord: “Eternal Father, I offer Thee the most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, in union with all the Masses said throughout the world today for the souls in Purgatory, sinners everywhere, for sinners in the Universal Church ... When I came to those words, “sinners in the Universal Church” - I saw the Cathedral of Light before me, & felt its heat - & knew that all those in the Mystical Church, including myself - were being purified.

I was not told this, I merely Knew it.

I ask that the priests become the limbs of Our Lord, & always, & in every way, do His Work & His Will on earth. And as when I ask for spiritual Communion & Christ replaces me with Himself - that the priests in this same manner become transparent - that the Holy Church, the Blessed Trinity always shine in their Hearts as They shine in mine now, as I write these words.

And as I sit with my Journal tonight, I know once again that this is true Life. The Life we are meant to Live, & that all else is pale & distant, a shadow, a puddle, in comparison.